I am broken and crushed in spirit.
I don’t know how I am going to pick up the pieces again.
I lie awake at night with heaviness in my heart.
I go through the daily grind with a dreariness in my soul.
Do you ever come out of a love so deep, virtually unscathed?
No… You are a whole new you.
You did not wallow, you were submerged
Down to the floor of a vast ocean of ecstacy and pain, crystalline clarity and murkiness, laughter and tears.
There’s nothing more paradoxical than love.
You have an all-time high, and the deepest of lows. Such is a bittersweet experience life has laid down. Take it and you experience its potency–the magnitude of its sting and the depth of wound it is capable of inflicting.
It is also its own balm. Healing comes from loving and being loved.
It is all in one.
It restores your soul, soothes your aches, calms your soul and satisfies your longings.
It softens your rough edges, it lifts your spirit.
It shoves you, pushes you against the wall until you have mustered enough strength to face life as it is–not as it should be or as you hoped it to be.
Is love enough?
Is love worth it all?
If it is, why can’t it carry lovers to their ever-after?
Why do they say, “we’ve lost it,” in such a regretful fashion you can’t help but admire their resilience to stay put.
But was it ever there in the first place? Could they have mistaken love for just a hormonal surge? Isn’t it a decision regardless of the temperature of the heart?
How do you express it?
Words of affirmation? Acts of service? Gift-giving? Hugs and Kisses? Or simply being present and alloting quality time with the object of your love?
Should you come with a checklist?
Do you measure your inadequacy to love by your failure to tick off the items on your list?
Love, though universally experienced may, to some, still remains life’s greatest mystery.
Yet its true meaning was long unveiled.
Whatever form of love you and I may have experienced and still do, there is only one kind of love that can eclipse any worldly notion we hold about it.
It is and should be our standard.
So, whatever brokenness I experience now actually pales in comparison to that which was experienced by the One who endured it all and overcame.
The cross on Calvary is what love is all about.
But yonder it is a promise of restoration and wholeness, and an expectation of joy and glory for those that endure.
I will wait.
Though crushed and broken.
It will be worth it all.